Sunday Driving

As I walked through the front door the other day, I sat down next to my old man and as he asked how my journey in the car was back from my mum's house, I promptly expressed my frustration and rounded my rant off with an exclamation damning sunday drivers forever. My dad being infinitely wiser than me mainly due to a healthy build up of years under his belt, corrected me. It was a Thursday.

When did the Sunday driving phenomenon start to integrate and afflict our everyday lives? These geriatrics who used to venture out of their bungalows and bundle into their assortment of Nissan Micras, Skodas and Daihatsus are now starting to take the piss quite frankly. Sunday was a non-starter so society was perfectly happy to give them over this one day to indulge their craving to pass through our lives, do their weekly shop, go to church and generally faff about in the world. However, the roads are starting to get clogged up with the old and bold running these errands. Surely this is exactly what the internet was trying to stamp out. By young people creating a multi-functional, international interface that anyone could easily use, it was supposed to stop the older demographic from doing these errands during the week and allow them to do all their shopping online, e-mail their families rather than driving to see them, decrease the risks that they pose to other motorists who have driving licences with their photographs on that aren't in Black and White.

This isn't a tirade against the Werther's Original crowd but to all those motorists who decide to take to the roads and make it like a chase scene from 'The Fast and The Furious' or indeed it's aptly named sequel '2 Fast, 2 Furious' (I would just like to highlight that whoever named these films hopefully got some kind of reward for managing to persuade the producers that these names were viable). There has been substantial talk in governmental circles about making re-tests compulsory for the pensioners who still like to think that they are Jackie Stewart. It isn't ageist no matter what the Daily Mail says but instead common sense. If Ethel and Winston are still perfectly capable on the M6 then by all means take to our roads but if an examiner deems their skills more wacky races rather than F1 then they should be kept off the streets. Indefinitely unless proven otherwise.

My Great Aunt Betty doesn't drive because she knows that she has no use for it and at the same time realises that she may be more harm than use. Unfortunately, this thought process needs to seep through to every older member of society and put in place by politicians who aren't too busy with their duck houses to do their jobs.

Come on everyone make my journey to and from my house safer. If you are too young or too old to see over the steering wheel, just don't venture out into the roads in your Rover Metro or Robin Reliant.

I guess you can keep Sunday, just don't even think about touching any of the other 6, otherwise you'll be on your bike with Boris Johnson and Dave Cameron.